Say it ain’t so

Chapter 12

There is a teen on TikTok who translates Bible stories into Gen-Z lingo. I’m not fluent in Gen-Z speak, so let’s have a look at it by Kyle Chastain and ChatGpt.

If you’re feeling prophetic, here’s some verses from Isaiah you may recognize.

Isaiah 9:6–7
Check it out: We’re getting a baby boy, a son’s coming our way, and he’s gonna carry the whole squad on his shoulders. They’re gonna call him Awesome Advisor, Super Strong God, Forever Dad, CEO of Chill. His rule and peace game? Straight-up endless. He’ll rule from David’s throne, bossing his kingdom, keeping it legit and righteous from here to eternity. And it’s all gonna go down ’cause the Lord Almighty’s got mad passion to make it happen.

Now, how about a few beatitudes from Jesus?

Matthew 5: 3–10
Big ups to those who are low-key, they’re gonna own heaven.
Shoutout to the ones grieving, they’ll get all the comfort.
Props to the chill peeps, they’ll score the Earth.
Big respect to those craving to do right, they’ll be totally satisfied.
Hats off to the kind-hearted, they’ll get kindness back.
Yay for the straight-up folks, they’ll def see God.
Cheers to the peace-creators, they’re gonna be known as God’s fam.
Huge respect to those getting heat for being righteous, Heaven’s all theirs.

Here’s an all-time favorite with a twist.

Psalm 23
God’s got my back, I’m all good.
He’s like, “Chill in these awesome fields, take a break by these calm waters.”
Totally rejuvenates my vibe. Keeps me on point for the right reasons.
Even when things get sus I’m not stressing, ’cause You’re right here with me. Your guidance and support? They’re my comfort zone.
You set me up with a feast, right in front of the haters. You’re treating me VIP style; my life’s just overflowing with blessings.
Count on Your kindness and love chasing me every single day, and I’m hanging in God’s crib for the long haul, forever.”

Okay, one more. This time with Jesus again.

Mark 9:35–37
Jesus gathered his crew and was like, “If you wanna be CEO, you’ve gotta be the ultimate helper, serving everyone else”. Then he brought over a kiddo, gave them a hug, and was like, “If you’re cool with little ones like this on my behalf, you’re cool with me. And being cool with me? That’s like being cool with the One who sent me.”

Yo, wishing you a lit Monday morning to kick off this fresh week!


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